Where to start when you're planning a funeral

If someone has just died, the first hours are about practical, time-sensitive things — securing the body's care, contacting a funeral home, and notifying close family. Our guide to what to do when someone dies covers those immediate steps. Once the urgent part is handled, planning the service itself begins, and that's what this page is for.

You won't have to make every choice today. A funeral, a memorial service, or a celebration of life can be planned over days or even weeks if there's no rush to bury or cremate. Cremation, in particular, gives families more time, because the gathering can be scheduled later. Read through the steps below, decide what matters most to your family, and let everything else fall into place from there.

A few decisions shape all the others: burial or cremation, religious or secular, and your budget. Settle those first and the rest of the planning gets noticeably simpler.

Step 1: Decide between burial and cremation

Almost every other decision follows from this one. If the person left written wishes — in a will, a pre-paid plan, or a conversation your family remembers — honour those. If not, the decision rests with the next of kin, ideally with the whole family's input. Consider faith and cultural traditions, the cost difference, and whether you want a permanent place to visit.

Burial usually means a casket, a cemetery plot, a grave marker, and often embalming — which is why it tends to cost more. Cremation is generally less expensive, frees you from a fixed timeline, and lets you scatter, bury, or keep the ashes. Many families now choose cremation and hold a memorial service or celebration of life weeks later, when more loved ones can travel.

Step 2: Choose a funeral home or provider — and compare costs

You are allowed to shop around, and you should. Call two or three funeral homes and ask for their prices. Under the FTC's Funeral Rule, every funeral provider in the U.S. is required to give you an itemized General Price List (GPL) — in person it must be handed to you, and many will email or read it over the phone. The GPL lets you compare providers line by line and decline services you don't want; you are not obligated to buy a package.

• Ask for the GPL up front. Compare the same items across providers — basic services fee, transfer of remains, embalming, casket or urn, facility use, and the cremation or burial fee.
• You can decline extras. Embalming is rarely legally required; you can choose a closed casket, a graveside-only service, or a direct cremation to lower cost.
• You can buy a casket or urn elsewhere. The law forbids a funeral home from charging a fee or refusing one you bought from a third party.
• Check what's bundled. "Packages" can hide items you don't need. Build your own list from the GPL instead.

Many funeral homes now offer interactive digital memorials to families as part of their service — see the partner program if you'd like to ask whether yours can include one.

Step 4: Choose the type of service

There is no single "right" kind of service — only the one that suits the person and comforts the people who loved them. The main options:

• Traditional funeral — usually held within a week, with the body present (casket open or closed), often religious, followed by burial. Familiar and structured.
• Memorial service — like a funeral but without the body present, so it can be held any time after cremation or burial. Flexible on date and place.
• Celebration of life — informal and personal, focused on joy and stories rather than ritual. Often secular; can be anywhere from a home to a favourite park. See our celebration of life ideas for ways to shape one.
• Graveside service — a short, simple gathering at the burial site itself. Quiet and inexpensive, suited to small families.

If you're unsure of the difference between a funeral and a memorial service, the simplest distinction is timing and the body: a funeral usually happens soon after death with the body present, while a memorial service can happen later, with the body already buried or cremated.

Step 5: Plan the details

Once the type of service is set, the details turn it into something that feels like them:

• Date and venue — a funeral home, place of worship, graveside, home, or outdoor space. Confirm availability before you announce anything.
• Officiant or celebrant — clergy for a faith service, or a celebrant or family member for a secular one. They guide the order of service.
• Readings and music — poems, scripture, or song lyrics, plus music for entry, reflection, and exit. Pick pieces that were genuinely theirs.
• The eulogy — one or two people speak. If you're writing or delivering one, our eulogy examples show structure and tone, and how to keep your composure on the day.
• Pallbearers — typically four to six people, if there's a casket to carry. Ask them early and have a backup.
• Flowers or donations — arrange flowers, or ask guests to donate to a cause the person cared about "in lieu of flowers." Either is gracious.
• The order of service — a printed or digital program listing the readings, music, and speakers, so guests can follow along and keep it afterward.

Planning a funeral on a budget

A meaningful goodbye does not have to be expensive. The most personal moments — the stories, the music, the people in the room — cost little or nothing. If money is tight, here's where to focus:

• Consider direct cremation — the lowest-cost option. The funeral home handles the cremation only, and your family holds a gathering yourselves, whenever and wherever suits.
• Hold a memorial service later — at home, in a park, or a community hall, instead of paying for the funeral home's facility.
• Decline what you don't need — embalming, a viewing, a premium casket, or limousines are often optional. Use the itemized price list to remove them.
• Buy the casket or urn separately — third-party options can cost far less, and the provider must accept one you supply.
• Ask about assistance — some states, the VA (for veterans), and local charities offer help with funeral costs; the funeral home can point you to programs.
• Let people help — friends often want to. Potluck food, a borrowed venue, or a friend who's a musician all ease the load and the cost.

Whatever you spend, request the provider's itemized price list and compare it against your budget before you commit. Prices vary widely, and a simpler service is no less loving than an elaborate one.

How long does planning take — and what it costs to remember them

If there's a burial, families often plan the service within a few days to a week. With cremation, you can take longer and hold a memorial whenever it suits everyone. There's no rule that says you must rush — give yourself the time the decisions deserve.

When it comes to remembering them, the digital memorial page is free to create — start free, gather the service details and everyone's photos and stories in one place, and share the link. If you'd like a lasting marker later, the physical QR memorial plaque opens that same page from a graveside, a garden, or a bench — a one-time keepsake (you'll see the current price on the product page). Begin with the page; add the plaque whenever you're ready.