Memorial Donations: How to Give, and How to Receive Them with Grace
Memorial Donations: How to Give, and How to Receive Them with Grace
A memorial donation is a gift made to a charity in memory of someone who has died — increasingly the way families ask to be honoured, in place of, or alongside, flowers. It turns grief into something good: a cause the person cared about, carried forward in their name. This guide covers both sides — how to make a memorial donation thoughtfully, and how a family can suggest and acknowledge them with grace.
What is a memorial donation and how do you make one?
A memorial donation is a charitable gift made in memory of someone who has died, usually to a cause the person cared about or to one the family has chosen — often a charity tied to the illness they died from. Families increasingly request these 'in lieu of flowers', because the gift lasts longer and does lasting good in the person's name. To make one, give to the charity the family has named (the obituary or funeral notice usually specifies it), either online, by post, or through a tribute fund the family has set up. When you give, include the name of the person you are honouring and the family's address if the option is offered, so the charity can notify the family of your gift without revealing the amount. There is no set figure — give what feels right and what you can afford; the gesture matters far more than the sum, and even a small gift made in someone's memory is a meaningful tribute.
How to make a memorial donation
If the family has named a charity — and the obituary or funeral notice usually does — give to that one. It will be a cause that meant something to the person, often a charity connected to the illness they died from, and honouring their choice is part of the gift.
You can give in a few simple ways:
- Online, through the charity's website or a tribute fund the family has set up in the person's name.
- By post, with a cheque and a short note saying whose memory it honours.
- Through the funeral home, which often collects donations on the family's behalf.
Whichever way you give, include the name of the person you are honouring, and the family's address if there is an option to send notice — so the charity can tell the family of your gift (the amount is kept private). If the family has asked for donations instead of flowers, our guide to "in lieu of flowers" wording explains exactly what they mean.
How much should you give?
There is no expected amount, and no one will ever know what you gave — charities notify the family of a gift, never the sum. Give what feels right and what you can comfortably afford. A modest donation made sincerely in someone's memory is every bit as meaningful as a large one.
If you are choosing between flowers and a donation and the family has expressed no preference, either is thoughtful. Some people do both — a small arrangement and a gift. If you would still like to send flowers as well, our guide to funeral flowers can help you choose. The only real rule is that the gesture is offered with care.
For families: suggesting donations
If you would like people to give in your loved one's memory, say so clearly and warmly in the funeral notice or obituary. A simple line works: "In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to [charity], a cause close to [name]'s heart."
Choose a charity that genuinely reflects the person — their illness, their passion, their faith, the work they believed in. Where you can, set up a tribute or memorial fund with the charity so gifts are gathered in one place and you can see, in time, the good done in their name. For the exact phrasing, our in lieu of flowers wording guide offers ready lines you can adapt.
For families: acknowledging gifts with grace
When the charity sends you a list of those who gave, a short note of thanks means a great deal — and there is no rush; people understand that grief takes time. A few gentle lines are plenty:
- Thank them by name, and name the person honoured.
- Tell them, simply, what their kindness meant.
- Keep it short — a sentence or two is perfect.
Our guide to funeral thank-you cards has wording you can lean on. And remember: you are not obliged to acknowledge every gift individually if it is too much — a notice of thanks in a local paper or on the memorial page is a kind and accepted alternative.
A donation does good — a memorial page keeps them present
A memorial donation carries a person's values forward. A free digital memorial page carries the person themselves: their photographs across the years, a video, the music they loved, and the memories everyone adds over time — and it is a natural place to note the cause the family chose, so visitors can give in their memory. A QR plaque can later link that page to a headstone, a bench or a garden stone.
It is free to create and takes about five minutes. A QR plaque is optional and comes later — the page is the heart of it.
Create a free memorial page
A free place to remember — and to point people to the cause
The digital memorial page is free to create — start free and gather their photos, videos and stories in one place, and note the charity the family has chosen. The physical QR memorial plaque is an optional keepsake that links that same page to a headstone, a bench or a garden stone with a single scan (you will see the current price on the product page). The page is the heart of it; the plaque is there whenever you want a physical place to point to.
Memorial donations — FAQ
A memorial donation is a charitable gift made in memory of someone who has died, usually to a cause they cared about or one the family has chosen — often a charity tied to the illness they died from. Families increasingly request these 'in lieu of flowers' because the gift lasts longer and does lasting good in the person's name.
Give to the charity the family has named, which is usually specified in the obituary or funeral notice. You can donate online, by post with a short note, through a tribute fund the family has set up, or via the funeral home. Include the name of the person you are honouring, and the family's address if offered, so the charity can notify the family of your gift — the amount stays private.
There is no expected amount, and the charity will notify the family of your gift but never reveal the sum. Give what feels right and what you can comfortably afford. A modest donation made sincerely in someone's memory is every bit as meaningful as a large one — the gesture matters far more than the figure.
State it warmly and clearly in the funeral notice or obituary, for example: 'In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to [charity], a cause close to [name]'s heart.' Choose a charity that genuinely reflects the person, and where possible set up a tribute fund so gifts are gathered in one place. Our in lieu of flowers wording guide has ready lines to adapt.
If the family has asked for donations in lieu of flowers, follow their wish and give to the named charity. If they have expressed no preference, either is thoughtful, and some people do both — a small arrangement and a gift. The most important thing is that your gesture is offered with care; both flowers and donations are kind ways to show you are thinking of the family.
A short note of thanks is a lovely gesture when the charity sends a list of donors, but there is no rush and no obligation to acknowledge every gift individually if it is too much during grief. A notice of thanks in a local paper or on the memorial page is a kind and widely accepted alternative. Our funeral thank-you cards guide offers gentle wording.
Carry their values forward — and keep them close, free, in 5 minutes.
Give in their memory, then start a memorial page with their photos and stories, note the cause they cared about, and link it to a resting place with a QR plaque whenever you are ready.